If you’re new to the show, feel welcome. If you’re a returning listener, thanks for pushing play yet again. We’ve been very, very blessed on the show to have some tremendous guests; guys from the Major Leagues, PGA golfers, professional quarterback, all talking about their mindset, their mentality, their little tools and tips and techniques that they use to be at their very best day in, day out, on the field and off of it as well.

For the longest time, I’ve been wanting to bring in someone from a business environment, especially multilevel marketing, growing more and more every day. It takes a strong mind to get over that hump and to grow to a legitimate business. So many people get weeded out because they just don’t have the beliefs and the mentality to get them through those tough times. That’s why I wanted to bring in Mindy Wender. She has a very, very large online multilevel marketing business through Beachbody. She is just like everybody else. From where she started to where she is now, this seven-year process, this seven-year journey will inspire you. It’ll show you that no one gets lucky. It takes hard work but it also takes the ability to focus and to articulate exactly what it is you want and to come up with a game plan on how you’re going to get there and what type of person you’re going to need to be to make it happen and to go out there. Not only take the action, but do the work to train yourself to become that person.

You hear Mindy, not only about her story, but the actual tools and the techniques that she used to develop the beliefs that she could do this business. When I look at Mindy, such a great amazing soul, I can’t think of anyone more who lives in this full force mentality that I talk about. She uses her words as obsessed, but to me it’s about passion, it’s about intensity, it’s about being present in the moment and giving it everything that you’ve got. I know Mindy does that. She does that in her business but she also does it as a wife, as a mother, and as an advocate of autism too.

Regardless if you are involved in an online multilevel marketing business or if you’re specifically in Beachbody or you’re in a more traditional business or you’re an athlete or you’re a stay-at-home, whatever it is, there are beliefs, there are thinking patterns, there are strategies, there are techniques in this episode that you can use to improve the quality of your life. I’ll let her share her story and all this great information from her mouth, not mine anymore. Without any further ado, I am so excited to call Mindy Wender up to the plate. We will see you guys on the other side.

Listen to the podcast here:

Mindy Wender and the Power of Purpose

Thank you for joining us here on the other side. I want to introduce you today to the fabulous, Mindy Wender. Mindy, are you there?

I am here. Thank you so much for having me, Jason.

Thank you so much. Thank you for taking the time. I know you’ve got a business that there’s always something that needs to be done. Not to mention, you’ve got the three little ones and a wee little one somewhere in the house taking a nap right now. I’m just so grateful that you’ve taken the time to let me ask some questions and pick your brain.

I know there are probably some listeners here who are unfamiliar with you and your type of business, could you maybe just start at the beginning? I know probably at five or six years old you didn’t probably say, “I’m going to grow up and be an online fitness business owner.” Can you just tell how it all came to be, how it started?

I realize that a lot of people that are going to be tuning into your podcast probably don’t know my story, so I have to keep that in mind because I’m so used to telling my story. I was just not a fitness person at all, honestly. It’s crazy to me that I have a fitness business and a successful one at that. When I was growing up through college and even in my early 20’s and everything, I was lazy and considered lazy. I wasn’t somebody who ate healthy. I partied and drank and ate fried food and fast food. I was the opposite of who I am today, honestly. When I got out of college, I thought to myself, I wanted to do something to feel better, because it starts to catch up with you. I did start working out a little bit. I found an app, a home workout program that I loved, but then I got pregnant.

Then I fell off the wagon and I stopped working out after having the baby because I was working overtime. I was stressed out. I was just not happy. I didn’t have a lot of energy nor did I have a lot of time. Back then, when I was a new mom and Brad and I were just these new parents, and we were living in this tiny little house and we were on state assistance, we were broke as a joke, we were living less than paycheck to paycheck. I was just really unhappy. I was really insecure. I was very unhealthy. I just wasn’t happy where my life was going.

Normal people might do something about it. I feel like there’s probably going to be some people that can relate where there’s something crappy in your life and you complain about it all the time and you do nothing about it. That’s where I was. I was just doing nothing about it. Months in, Lane, my son, he was about eight months old, and I finally got to the point I spent months and months complaining and being a nagging wife and just doing nothing about it and being stressed and feeling like crap. It wasn’t like this big rock-bottom moment for me, but I finally hit this point where I was like, I want to feel good. When was the last time I was positive? When was the last time I felt good and I had energy? I remembered back and it was when I was working out.

Of course at this time, I lacked energy and I didn’t have a lot of time because I was working almost 50 hours a week. The reason why is because shortly after having Lane, Brad was laid off from his job. We’re already broke and then my husband loses his job for six months. That’s why I had to pick up more hours and had literally not a lot of time. I went online to find that motivation because I realized I don’t have a lot of time, I don’t have the right mindset, I need to find something to get me excited about this again, get me going. I feel like I couldn’t even push play on my workouts at this point or go for a walk or even go for a run, whatever. I just didn’t have it. When I was online, that’s when I found some pretty motivating people, but on top of that I saw people talking about this online fitness business. I’m from the smallest town on the planet. It’s literally three hours from Canada. It’s upper Michigan. It’s called Iron Mountain, Michigan. It’s the smallest town on the planet. It’s a very low-key town.

I’m in this small community and I was very, very shy. To speak on this podcast before, seven years ago, it would never have happened. Even speaking on a call where people can’t see me, I would still be so nervous. I would never be able to do it. I’m from this small town, super shy, and here I am looking at an online fitness business. To me, that would have been the furthest outside my comfort zone that I could possibly go. Not to mention, I have no business background. I’m working 50 hours a week as an office manager. I’m not even working out at this time. Here I am, looking at a fitness business. There was just something, and I believe that God guides you in the right direction. I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Life happens for you, not to you. At that point in my life, I just went with it, which is not normal for me. But I’m going to ask and go outside my comfort zone and ask what this is all about, and so I did.

Long story short, I was introduced to it and I saw another regular person. To me, when I was thinking online fitness business, it’s through Beachbody and it’s coaching. To me, I would think you have to have to be a personal trainer, you have to be a fitness professional, you have to be a group fitness instructor, whatever, or a nutritionist. I thought there was something to it that you needed. I saw this mom on this live webinar that I was watching, she had a couple of kids and she was doing it and she was working at a job outside of the home, but then was just doing it on the side. Something about the realness and people who are relatable, that always has inspired me. Why not me? That something came over me. Even though I was scared to death, I was like “I have a feeling that I should just go for this.”

So I did. I went for it, I signed up and it wasn’t like I was just super successful overnight or anything like that. No, that’s actually not true at all. I didn’t even really get going out of the gates. Once I found what was possible and I worked on changing my mindset because I was a more negative person than positive at this point in my life. Once I figured all that out and worked on my mindset and worked on personal development and getting outside my comfort zone more, that’s when I really started to hit it hard and things really took off from there.

Changing my mindset, what does that mean?

That took a lot of work for me. It’s not like I snapped my finger and my mindset was completely shifted. Mindset wasn’t like an overnight shift for me. It wasn’t like snap my fingers and I’m this positive person. Definitely, I had years and years of people telling me I can’t and then me believing me that, me talking down about myself to myself, just the things I would say to myself. Then plus my shyness, which I believe that I don’t really feel like I was born to be a shy person, because once you get to know me, I’m not shy at all. We can laugh and joke and whatever. I just was a different person seven years ago.

How I did that, what that meant for me, which it’s different for other people, but for me, it meant diving in to personal development and reading a lot of personal development books, and then practicing what I was reading. I would take notes while I was reading. It wasn’t like I was just listening but not retaining. How I learn is I actually have to write it down and then apply it really quick after. I’m taking massive action right after I learn something. I like to take massive action right after that so then it clicks. That’s what I did. I started reading these books and then I started to apply these things and then I started to create a daily practice for myself.

My daily practice in a nutshell is nothing special. I wake up before anyone else wakes up, hopefully, if my baby doesn’t wake me up in the middle of the night. I wake up before my kids wake up, before my husband wakes up and I have some me time. I just sit down. I read some personal development, then I do visualization where I actually visualize where I want to go, whatever my goals are in my life at that time. Back then, seven years ago, it was just to cut back on some hours, pay for the groceries, and not have my debit card get declined. That was my main thing; spend more time with my kid, not have to miss so much of his life. That was my main thing.

A lot of that visualization was to picture myself waking up and not having to go to work and being at home with Lane, then picturing myself hitting certain goals in my fitness level, then picturing myself hitting goals in my business and how that would feel. The moment I woke up that morning, how that would feel when I achieved whatever goal. I really visualize that and feel the feelings that I would feel when I achieve those things. That’s another thing. The last thing is that I do is the visualization then I also did positive affirmations, and I still do these today. This is embarrassing, just so you know. You sound and you feel like a fool, honestly, when you start doing positive affirmations because you feel like you’re lying to yourself because you kind of are. I would say things to myself though to boost my confidence and just to get out of my own head about the things that were holding my fears, my doubts, my insecurities. I’d say things like, “You are a leader.” I would say these things over and over, “You are a leader. You are likeable. You are so outgoing. You’re an amazing public speaker.” I would say these crazy things.

To me, at this point, seven years ago, I was almost scared to get on and listen to a call, a live call, because I was like, “What if they call my name and I have to say something?” That’s the severity of my shyness back then and my insecurities. To me, saying this out loud and saying, “You’re an amazing public speaker.” That was weird. That felt weird to me. It didn’t feel normal, but I did it every single day, over and over and over. Eventually it started to sync in and I started to believe those things. That’s where the mindset shift came from.

One of the things though that I know that I had a specific idea or a question I wanted to ask you was the idea of public speaking. This was a question I wanted to ask you just so maybe I can find some little tidbit or advice to help myself, at the very least, and let alone share with people that are listening. That’s something I always really liked and enjoy about you was your stage presence and you as a public speaker. I know you were shy and you use these affirmations. What else have you worked on or practiced or tried to implement to be a better speaker on stage?

The main thing is, and this is what I did, it’s not like I’m a professional, this is just what worked for me, is to tell myself over and over and remind myself, because this is the truth, this isn’t about you. This is not about you. Because I still, when I get on a stage or about to get on a stage, I feel nerves. It’s not like this easy breezy thing where I’m just so confident, I can just get up on the stage and rock this. I take some mental preparation for myself where I have to get in the zone. I have to visualize myself. At the end of the day, the same thing has worked since day one for public speaking. Even on calls like this podcast. I always say, “Speak through me, God. Let me at least help one person.” I don’t even care if there’s thousands of people listening, I only ask at least help me to help one person who’s listening to this. Let this message resonate with that one person so they can take a hold of this and run with it and help change their life. I just remind myself; it’s not about me, it’s how I can serve others, how I can add value to others.

For some reason, not just where I’m talking about being shy. My shyness, like I said, it’s more insecurity. Something that is a part of me is that I don’t like to be the center of attention. I can talk in a group and be funny and laugh and all this stuff, but when everyone’s asking me a question and all eyes are on me, that’s what makes me uncomfortable; when I’m the center of attention. When I say this to myself and I take the stress and that load off my shoulders and I put it on the people, it’s almost selfish. “I’m going to take all the stress that I have on me, I’m going to give it to you and you can have that stress.” That’s how I visualize it. I take it off me and put it on them because that’s what it’s about. They don’t care what clothes I’m wearing. They don’t care what my makeup looks like. They don’t care about that. They want to hear from a real person who’s being authentic and being themselves.

The reason why I think that is because when I see other people speak, it’s the people who don’t have a script down. They’re not very careful with the words they use. If you talk to them after they’ve done speaking offstage, they’re going to be the same person that they were onstage. They’re going to talk in the same way. They have the same vibe onstage or offstage. I really, really always appreciated that of certain people, certain speakers. That’s what I like so that’s what I do. I just go out there and say, “They’re going to like me or they’re not going to like me. It’s not on me, it’s on them. I want to add value to them and just be myself. That’s all I can be.” That’s it.

When I think of you in the times I saw you speak and hear you on calls, realness and relatable and connected with the audience. It’s just interesting that that’s what you brought up, that that’s something that inspired you.

We all connect to different people but one thing that everyone can say yes, we all can agree with it on this, is when somebody’s authentically themselves onstage, offstage, it’s likeable and relatable.

You mentioned it took you a while to get going in the business, was there a moment or a time you can vaguely pinpoint maybe where it’s, “I can’t do this. I’m not capable.” Even in your own head, “I can’t do this. Other people tell me I can’t do it.” When was the switch that went on where you say, “I can do this, I got this.”

I’m not sure that everybody has that moment in time but I definitely do. Even when I started this business, I had everyone like family members and friends, just people almost laughing, which I can’t blame them because I set them up for that, because I quit everything in my life. I’m like, “I’m over it. I’m on to the next thing.” It’s almost like I had ADD with everything that I was interested in. I can’t blame them that they would think that, but it’s just because I hadn’t found something that would spark my passion and really make me feel connected to a purpose, until I found my fitness business, until I found Beachbody. Because I really connected with the mission and the people and the community and just the reason behind why we are doing this stuff. If you would have told me, “You have to push product and you have to sell stuff.” My dad owned two businesses in town and he tried to get me to sell stuff for years and years and years and there was no chance in heck that I was going to do it because I felt awkward and weird selling stuff. Now here I am, seven years into a business, where essentially what the outside looking in you could think that’s what I do for a living, is sell stuff.

When I found out that it’s about adding value, through the first two months where I wasn’t really doing anything, that’s what I was slowly realizing about this company and about this mission of the company and my own mission. I had my own little vibe and my own purpose, what I wanted to do with this platform. I realized that what it’s really about is that you’re adding value to other people. You’re teaching them and maybe being their only person supporting them in their life with their health and fitness journey. I remember seeing family members where they’d start fitness journey but then their spouse was not at all supportive and no one else around them was, so they’d end up falling off and not staying accountable to their workouts or their journey. I really noticed that. Again, that’s why I feel like God works, there’s a reason. He’s working for me. He allowed me to see these things in my life, so now when I see them in my business I can help that person who doesn’t have that support system. As I’m learning about this and learning more about the purpose and mission and everything, that’s when I was really interested in this. I was dabbling at this point, not really into it.

Then I remember my mentor in the business saying to me, I asked her a question, “You’re not getting the emails? Because I’ve sent you that.” I was like, “Busted.” That feeling of being busted that I really wasn’t doing my crap that I was saying I was doing, that really was a reality check for me. She called me out, not purposely, she’s the nicest person on the planet. She called me out and I realized that she’s right. I’m really not doing my stuff. I said, “Do I want to continue doing this or do I want to quit?” I came home and I was just, “Do I want to continue doing this, dabbling here and there, or should I just quit, because this isn’t worth it.” Then that’s when I said, “What could this business do for me?” When I realized what it could do for me, that it could be the thing that helped me completely quit my full-time job to be a present mother and work part-time around my kids’ nap time, like I’m doing right now, or bedtime or whatever.

Do I want that? Yes. Do I want to pay off debt? Yes. This could be the tool, the opportunity that helps me do that. Do I want to completely change my health and fitness? Yes. Do I want to build a dream home? Do I want to have investments? Do I want to eventually own a million-dollar business? All these things that seem farfetched, some of them seemed farfetched. But I was like, “Yes, yes, yes.” I got all fired up with myself and I went to my mentor and I said, “That’s it. Tell me what I need to do and I will freaking do it.” She could tell there was a change in my energy. She’s like, “Here’s the game plan. This is what you need to do.” That is what I started doing. That was the shift.

When I had the mindset shift, which actually I had been working on for personal development for the last two months and stuff, but that one moment, it doesn’t take months. It doesn’t take years to change your belief, going to a different state. Before I was in a state of, “Should I quit? I’m dabbling.” Then I got myself all fired up by learning, what could I get out of this? How could this benefit me, my family, this and that? That’s when I had the mindset shift of, “Let’s do this.” She gave me that game plan and I started running with it and doing it. I started seeing progress because I was taking massive action. If I was going to number these for anyone who’s listening who’s organized, number one would be the mindset shift. Get yourself fired up for it. Number two would be to get a game plan together. Know what you’re going to do every single day.

Number three is do it every single day. Take massive action every single day. You’ve got to do it because you’re not going to see progress unless you’re taking action every single day. Four would be consistency. Showing up every single day. Jason with baseball, he showed up every single day. He trained when he didn’t have to. That’s how you get to be the best. Do the best that you’re capable of doing, that you’re born to be. I feel like God didn’t create us all to be who I was, which was going through the motions of life, being mediocre. I feel like we were all created to thrive, not all in the same way, in our own way. Just know that. That’s what I had to remind myself, is that I needed to really figure out what my passion and purpose was, which I did, get that mindset shift and just show up and do the work and the results will come later.

The last thing, number five, is setting goals for yourself. Goals changed my life. Seven years ago, when I started my online fitness business, I had never in my life written down a goal or created a goal. As you know, from hearing my story now, I was just not an overachiever. I didn’t even know what a goal was or how to set them or anything. Then I listened to this super quick audio or podcast or something that was on my iTunes. I listened to it and it was a very brief overview of how to set goals. I tried and I sucked at it at first, but it doesn’t even matter if you do goal setting like the crappiest way possible. You’re still benefiting yourself. You’re still moving forward more than you would if you had not done that goal exercise.

I got really fired up doing this goal exercise. I did it every single Sunday and I still do it every single Sunday. Seven years in and I’m still doing it. My first year when I really needed to make a difference and I wanted to quit my job and really earn more of an income because obviously we were broke, then I would set goals sometimes three times a week. I did it more often in the beginning. Now, I could do it less. I probably should do it three times a week but I feel like I got this little routine going now where I do it on Sundays. It’s just a fun little routine for me. By all means, if you can do it more, do it more. It’ll just be that much more effective for you. That’s my five-part, what made my business have that shift to go from doing nothing to actually seeing freaking results.

Congratulations. That’s the first time I’ve ever had anyone implement a five-step plan in the middle of a podcast. That was truly incredible. That’s the kind of stuff that I love. People take that right away. I jotted every single step down myself too. One of the things I wanted to ask you too was that big why, one of the reasons why it was so important to you to generate and build this business was to be that present parent and spend time with, at that time, your oldest son. Over the course of the seven years, now that you have that freedom to be with him any moment that you really wanted to, what continues to drive you to keep going and keep being consistent and keep progressing your business?

I’ve never stopped, honestly. It’s why some people stop and some people do not stop when they start achieving their goals. It’s because, like I said, I wasn’t a product-pusher, I wasn’t a sales person. I signed up and was intrigued and interested and inspired by the purpose behind what I was doing. It’s when you find your purpose and you really feel like you’re making a difference and you really have fun. Honestly, Brad has to pull me away from my work sometimes because it’s not like I feel I’m off of work today, thank God it’s Friday. I work on the weekends. I love what I do. That’s not to say that now I have freedom where I can go to Disney World for a week and not have to stress about work. For sure, I have freedom, but I actually enjoy working. Even when I am on vacation, I usually do work but definitely not cutting into my family time.

The thing about me that will go with me in my legacy when I’m gone will be the balance part of me, because I really practice what I preach when it comes to my parenting and my business. There’s never ever in a million years and would I ever try to push anybody on my team or anybody that I’m talking to, to ever, ever choose work over your kids. There’s an option of that. Of course when I went to work 50 hours a week away from it, and that was something that I had to do, by all means. I just have to get organized with my time and balance it all. If I have to wake up early so it don’t cut into my family time, by all means I do that. If I have calls, I don’t schedule them and have a nanny come over here and watch my kids so I can get on that call. No, I am with my three kids as much as I possibly can be and then I schedule everything around their schedule. I like to call it, “I work my business in the mom craps.” Nap times. If Hudson’s eating his lunch in his high chair and just obsessed with his food, we call him the beef cake, he’s a big beefy boy. When he’s eating his food and his lunch, he’s not paying attention to me. If I’m going to get on my phone, send a few voice memos, answer some messages, that’s another mom crap time.

I really do believe that balance in your business really makes a difference. You’re probably like, “Why are you talking about this?” The reason why I say this and why I’m still passionate about it seven years in is because I have not let it get to the point where I’m neglecting my family. If I work to that point, I think I wouldn’t be where I am today. I don’t think I would still be working my butt off on my business because I would have guilt. I would be like, “I’m spent or hit a wall or get burned out.” That’s a term a lot of people use. You burn yourself out and you’re like, “I’ve missed X, Y, and Z because I’m working all the time. I’m burned out now, so I’m just going to spend time with my kids and not work my business.”

Where I’ve always had a balance. Maybe I’m not the top person in my entire company, but I’m okay with that. I don’t need that because I feel like I’m balancing it and managing my time well where I’m still present. That was the reason why I started this, is to be present with my kids. Now, I have three of them. Started with one, now I have three. I just want to be true to that. I want to stay true to what my top priorities are. When I do my goal setting exercise, I definitely have my top priorities written at the top of my goal setting page. We have different ranks and different bonuses and all this stuff, but it can relate to anything in life, to get to the next level in whatever you’re doing, of course we all have that. I’m not going to set a goal to get to the next level if it doesn’t line up with my top priorities. That has been really a key point, a key thing in my success. I have not wanted to slow down so much because I’m not burnt out on it. That’s one thing.

Back to the purpose. I just feel really purpose behind this. I love what I do. I get excited. I’m obsessed. I’m definitely an obsessive person. I’m obsessed with my kids and I’m also obsessed with what I do. It goes back to we were created to thrive. I wasn’t created to get enough money to have X, Y, and Z and now you’re good so put your feet up on your desk. That’s just not who I am, it’s not in my DNA. It’s not why I joined. I didn’t join for the money. I joined because I was obsessed with it, I believed in it. If you are in business, if you aren’t 100% obsessed and don’t believe 100% in what you’re doing, it’s not going to really work. That’s for my experience. Maybe it’ll work short-term but long-term, it is not going to keep you waking up early. You really have to believe and be obsessed and know that it’s a part of who you feel your DNA is and that you’re making a difference. That’s just what I believe. That’s what I think has really helped me stay the course for seven years. I have no plans of ever slowing down.

When you talk about purpose and loving what you do, it made me curious. What specifically are the things that you really love about what you do?

My brand is geared towards moms. It really is, women and moms. That’s not to say I don’t have men on my team. My thing is I feel like I have this platform to help other moms out there, other parents out there to see more for themselves. Not just see more for themselves as, “I get to fit into my skinny jeans.” Because that wouldn’t keep me going for seven years. Helping somebody get healthy and learn about what’s good for their body.

I’m also obsessed with overall wellness. My daughter at age 15 months was diagnosed with autism. From that point on, I have become a student. Massive researching on how to naturally heal the body and all different types of ways to heal autism and to help her just thrive and live the best life that she can live on her terms, whatever that is. A lot of the things that come along with autism are what they’re eating is affecting their body and supplementation helps them. Just so many different natural therapies will help them, like going in an infrared sauna. There’s just so much hippie stuff out there, so I call myself a wannabe hippie. I wasn’t before, but since that diagnosis of Lilly, I’ve really just became a student. Now, my passion is more than just, “Let’s get you in my accountability group online and get you to lose some weight.” That is not what drives me. I like to teach in these groups all the different things that are out there and how food affects everything. What we put in our body matters. It’s not like, “As long as it’s low calorie, you can eat that.” No, I like to educate people on what they put in their body needs to be God-made foods and just all that kind of stuff.

The purpose for me is that I have this community of moms who are following me who I can help just shine a light on what we put in our kids’ bodies, they truly matter. It really does. It makes a difference. Just sharing my journey through this whole autism journey, I’m sharing that and that’s inspiring other parents as well. Just living a lifestyle, not just with health and fitness, but that’s definitely part of it. If you’re leading by example as a mom, especially a mom, it just makes such a difference. You don’t have to try to push it on your kids, you don’t have to try to push it on your spouse. All you do is show up every day, consistently, and lead by example and doing your personal development. I’m not just saying health and fitness. Me doing my personal development every single day, me working out every day, me eating clean foods, all these things that I do, goal setting.

My son made this humongous dream vision board this year. It’s just insane how big he’s dreaming. Would he have done that if I’ve never created vision boards for year after year after year? You don’t have to believe in vision boards by the way. This is just an example. No, he’s following my lead. That’s what I love and I feel that’s where my purpose is and my passion is. It’s just helping other moms see more for themselves in all areas of their lives.

This is a lesson that I’ve had to learn in the last year too, where the idea of being obsessed but yet being in balance at the same time. It was something I didn’t understand for the longest time. Once you get really present and you understand what you’re doing in that moment. I call it being full force where you just give it everything you’ve got and then kids come home and you’re fully present there and you just live full force there. It is a feeling of being obsessed and just going after everything and giving it your best. I was curious when it comes to the idea of being balanced. I’m going to assume that maybe every once in a while you get slightly out of balance. What are some signal signs you’ve learned over the years to remind yourself, “Wait a minute, I need to get a little bit more centered and balanced with all there is in my life again.”

Definitely, I’m farthest from perfect. I really am. When I say I have this morning routine, like I said, it’s not every day. If Hudson wakes up at 4 AM, I’m pushing snooze. I’m a normal person just like you. It’s not easy to do. Sometimes I don’t do it but other days, I have those times where I see I’m getting off track or I just went on vacation and it’s so hard to get back on track afterwards and all that. What I do, it’s really what triggers my whole day to get on track, is the waking up early thing, which is for me the hardest thing because I’m more of a night owl. Right now, in the season of life I’m in, with small children and a baby, that’s the best time for me to get back on track. This is what works for me, everyone is different. Maybe it’s better for you to do it at night. This is just the season I’m in right now. I know meditation is so crazy to think about sometimes because I know for me, I’m very hyper. I like to be doing and being productive and going to the next level and full force into what you’re doing. It’s hard to get into having that quiet time.

I went to a Tony Robbins’ event just recently. He has a priming exercise. I started doing that in the morning. I feel like when I’m getting off track, I have to get back to doing the priming in the morning. I have the recording of the priming exercise, so I go into a quiet room by myself and I just sit there by myself even before I do the priming exercise. I just sit there in silence and I try just to focus on my breathing and then I do the priming exercise, which is literally five to ten minutes. I do that and it’s just really like meditation, so you could get meditation from whomever that you click with.

I do that and just getting in that state of being grateful; the gratitude for everything that I’ve been given, everything in my life, and just focusing on what really matters, that is what gets me back on track, honestly. Look at all that God has given me and has blessed me with and this platform that I have, the opportunities that present themselves pretty much every single day. I don’t believe it’s coincidence. Like I said, I feel like it’s happening for me. As long as I’m paying attention, I’ll notice that. I feel like that just fires me up once I get in that state. I go and I do my goals and I visualize and I do all that stuff that I said. Then my whole day is ready. It’s like I’m in a different state of mind. I’m not in a, “Tomorrow I’ll do this.” The morning routine that I do and doing that priming exercise, it’s almost impossible to go to a state of mind where you want to just sit around. You want to go full force, whether it’s being with your kids and being present with them full force or if you want to work your business or practice or whatever it is that you’re working towards. You just want to go all in. I feel like that’s what it is for me, is just getting back to that routine and having that me time and doing certain meditation exercises to remind myself what really matters.

You mentioned a couple of times the belief that everything happens for you. That’s one of the beliefs that I have, that there’s always something positives in any adversities, there’s always positives in any setbacks but we have to look for it. Is there any examples or little stories that you could share about things that have happened? It looked like this was a terrible situation but looking back on it now, you know there was a beauty to it, there’s a positive, some type of gift.

I’m just like anyone else. I have tons of problems and everything. I’m going to go to the biggest thing that’s just changed my life forever. It was when Lilly was Hudson’s age actually. Something happened, she was completely developing typical. She hit all her milestones. She was just the sweetest little baby girl, so funny, just totally healthy. Then slowly from between thirteen and fifteen months, we started to notice that she started to talk less. She was saying “Mama, Dada” small words like that but of course she was more vocal in other things, like Hudson is like a beef cake and yells randomly. We’re like, “Relax.” That’s how she was, just baby talk. She was definitely connected. She wanted to be with you. She wanted you to pick her up. She wanted to cuddle. She was just typical baby.

Between thirteen and fifteen months is when we started to notice her basically slowly go silent. She stopped looking at us. She stopped touching us. She stopped wanting to interact with us. She stopped talking. No sound out of her mouth, no babble, no screaming. Cries, yes, but that was if she got hurt or whatever. She was basically silent though for the most part. Long story short, we did get the diagnosis that she had autism. We got it very early at fifteen months because I was very persistent with researching it and noticing signs and didn’t let it go because I know I fell in the trap of denial. I think that was one thing that I followed my mommy intuition. I knew something was off and that it ended up being that I was right. That hit me hard. I didn’t work my business, not that I didn’t want to. I physically couldn’t work my business. I couldn’t get on any calls. Barely could I post on social media because again, we go back to where I was talking about being very authentic, real, and relatable. I just can’t be fake. I remember even in high school, I couldn’t be fake. I just could not be fake.

Anyway, going on social media and posting, and trying to inspire others and make their life better when my life was so crappy at the time and I was in such a dark place, was like pulling teeth. It was very, very hard for me. I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I was depressed. Sometimes, that stage can last parents maybe forever. It felt like three days but maybe it was a week. I don’t really know how long. It wasn’t a very long run. What I did was I had this mindset shift where instead of the three days or a week, I’m sitting there saying, “Why me? Why would God do this to me? This is awful. Why Lilly? Why did this happen to her? This isn’t fair.” I’m almost really questioning my faith, unsure of why this would happen, and if there was even a God. I was just in a very dark place, completely different from where I am now.

In that time where I finally had that realization, and I think God was working really hard to help me because then I went to the state of, “No, there’s got to be something that I can do. Why sit here in bed complaining about it when I could be doing something to help her?” That’s when I would research. I started researching and working towards healing her. I would stay up until 2 in the freaking morning sometimes, reading and researching and then I’d wake up early and I’d be listening to audio books and having books and highlighting everything and doing all this stuff, doing new diets with her and taking things out and doing testing on her to see what foods she’s allergic to or sensitive to. I went full force into her healing or into helping her, whatever you want to call it.

I started to really get my faith back and I started reading a lot of The Message Bible and Jesus Calling. When you’re lost and you hit rock-bottom like I had, it’s sad but that’s when you need God the most. That’s when I was like, “I know I haven’t been reading this and I haven’t been praying, I haven’t been doing this but I need to do this and I need You now.” I did feel at peace and at ease after I started doing that. I was just like, “Wow.” I had this a-ha moment where I was always telling my story like I have today and I was always like, “I used to be lazy. I used to eat junk food. I drank way too much beer in college. I hated working out. How the heck does this small town simple girl from the UP of Michigan, a fitness business falls on my lap, never made anything work in my life, quit everything, wasn’t an overachiever, now all of a sudden I’m one of the top players in this business. Asked to speak onstage out of hundreds and thousands of coaches. I’m earning seven figures in this business. That is just crazy. What a coincidence.” That’s what most people say. “That’s crazy, what a coincidence.”

Then what I realized is it wasn’t coincidence at all. God put this opportunity in my life, or the universe or whatever you want to call it, even though I wasn’t qualified, even though I had no business background or fitness background or transformation story or anything like that. He put this in front of me and pushed me and gave me that butterflies in my belly, that fire in my belly to go for it instead of quitting those times I wanted to quit, instead of not signing up when I was considering not signing up, but I did it anyway. I don’t think it was by accident. I think God put that in my life to push me to start changing my mindset, to start believing in myself, to start building my confidence that just because a doctor said something doesn’t mean that. The doctor diagnosed her and said she may never speak again.

The old Mindy would have said, “He’s a doctor. I’m just going to listen to whatever he says because I’m not confident and he knows more than me.” The same old story that most people tell themselves. Because I had done so much personal development the years prior, maybe I was in business probably like three years at that time, four years. I’ve done so much personal development and worked on myself personally that I did believe in myself and I was confident enough to go out there and research and take a stand for my kid. On top of all that, what’s crazy is here I am with a network full of other moms and one in fifty children are diagnosed with autism. I have 75,000 followers on my like page. Imagine how many moms are affected by autism on just my like page, not to mention if they run across my blog or my Instagram or my YouTube or this podcast, whatever. God just puts people in the right place at the right time for a reason.

I have no doubt in my mind that life was happening for me even back in 2009. Lilly wasn’t even born then. I only had one child. I feel like He was working then to prepare me for what I needed in 2013 when she was diagnosed. Still to this day I have the right people coming to me. One time I had somebody knock on my door and said, “Mindy, I haven’t talked to you in a while but I was in Green Bay at this doctor’s office, a natural doctor and I saw this book on autism and I was just drawn to buy this for you. I just wanted to deliver it to you.” That same morning, before I received that book, I asked God to send me the right people, the right opportunities to help me give answers for Lilly. Literally two hours later, somebody knocks on my door with a book on autism that had some great stuff that actually helped her go to the next level. This doctor is now really one of my great friends and we talk all the time. He’s really involved in Lilly’s recovery journey.

The point with all this is that, that was a bad time. We’re still working through this. She still has autism. It’s not like I have this story where I’m going to tell you that it’s not hard. No, it’s hard every single day. It’s not easy but I don’t see it as that. I see it as a blessing. I’m grateful for what this has done for our life. You should see my son Lane, the most compassionate little boy that you could ever meet because he has this in his life. He has Lilly. He’s learned that people are different and that’s okay. They’re so special and they’re such a gift. He has compassion for other people. I’ve never seen it. Definitely not like me at eight years old, that’s for sure. It’s just crazy. You should see some of the things he does with his sister to make her feel accepted and loved.

We have ups and downs in our lives and they can throw us for a loop and we can go on a downward spiral like I did for luckily only a week or less. If we have the belief and the understanding, what is the lesson behind this? Why is this happening to me? Then everything just falls into place and you realize that this is happening for me. Then you’ll be excited, not excited so much for, in my situation, the autism but you could be excited for what’s to come, and what you will learn from it and what Lilly’s going to learn and what other people are going to learn through our experience. There is always a positive in every situation as long as you’re looking for it. That’s what I believe.

One of the reasons why I wanted to ask you was, I knew you were the type of person that doesn’t settle, that does take action. It’s one of the reasons why you’ve grown your business but I see it with Lilly too, that you’re not going to back down, you’re not going to roll over, you’re just going to keep going until you find the outcome or you find the solution. Before we started this broadcasting, we were having technical difficulties and you were so quick. Within 30 seconds, things weren’t working right and you’re just like, “What else do we need to make it work?” I had that problem with so many different people and everyone’s like, “What do we do?” But you’re like, “How do we fix this? We can find the answer.” It’s just through and through, I just see you as someone who walks your talk and I just think it’s such a beautiful thing. I’m so grateful to call you a friend.

Thanks, Jason. I wish that you could see the bloopers of this show because it was pretty funny. At the beginning when I went in and talked about my story but it wasn’t recorded, but that’s how I do. I’m glad that you say that. Honestly Jason, it means so much to me hearing that from you because you’re somebody who Brad and I just adore. We respect you for who you are and your character and your integrity. That’s why when you asked me, I didn’t even care. You didn’t have to tell me when, where, how, or why. I’m like, “Yeah, when? I’ll do it. Done.” I do feel like that’s something that I’ve learned in my life that I’ve never was like that before. Instead of just sitting around and waiting for somebody else to give you the answer, somebody else to tell you the answer or whatever, you just figure it out. The faster you figure it out, the better I feel because you’re not wasting time.

I think I learned that a lot through my business for sure, but definitely through Lilly because I was a sheep. I like to say a sheep, I’m sorry if that offends anybody because I’m not saying that about anybody else but myself. I was definitely a sheep. If a doctor told me to do something or anybody really, I’m like, “I’ll do it.” Then I just realized that I’m not just going to roll over. With my business or anything, if somebody tells me, “That’s not going to work in your business.” I’m going to research, I’m going to figure it out and I’m going to make it work. There’s no doubt in my mind. I always tell everybody that the business isn’t broken, what you’re doing is broken. Fix what you’re doing and figure it out, research. Stay up all night, whatever you’ve got to do, figure it out and then just do it. If that doesn’t work, change it. If that doesn’t work, change it. If that doesn’t work, change it, like we did before this podcast started. We changed it and got different headphones and got a different computer and we made it work. That’s what you need to do with business, in life, with your kids, everything.

One last thing, how can everybody who wants to find you, how can they find you? Where are all the blog and the websites, and all social media handles?

My Facebook is Facebook.com/MindyWenderFitness. My blog is MindyWenderFitness.com. Then Instagram, Snapchat, all my handles like that, are @MindyWender. For those who may be are affected by autism or just want to learn more, I do have a blog just for that and that’s LillyGivesHope.com. I do a lot of updates of her journey and what we’re doing now and what works and what we didn’t see any results with. If you know anyone who is affected by that or just wants to learn more about it, that’s where they can go.

Thank you so much, Mindy, for being on the show today. I appreciate you being on.

Thank you so much, Jason. This was so fun. Thank you for having me. It was an honor.

I’m glad you helped resolve the problem. It was great. Everyone, thanks for tuning in today. Until next time, aim high, swing hard, smile often, and live full force.

 

Important Links

Mindy Wender

Mindy Wender YouTube

Facebook.com/MindyWenderFitness

Instagram

LillyGivesHope.com

Jesus Calling

 

Guest Bio